Hello Furfilise

by J. Tan

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Staycation: Holiday Villa, Johor Bahru

Sunday, July 01, 2018
Crossed the border at the start of 2018 with the sole purpose of getting my hair done. Situated between Holiday Plaza and KSL Mall, Holiday Villa is the most ideal hotel for Singaporeans. This trip was memorable! From exploring new places to feeling like a minority, the short getaway made me step out of my comfort zone. Despite harbouring the thoughts of getting a hair dye, I never once commit to doing it until now. Although I'm missing my dark, black hair, having a lighter hair colour allows me to pull off warm makeup looks. Half a year has gone by and I'm thinking of going even lighter–what are your thoughts?

Mental Health Illness | #ThoughtPosts

Monday, June 25, 2018
A mental disorder is a condition that causes serious disorder in a person’s behaviour or thinking. 
Being mentally or emotionally healthy seems harder to achieve than before–and it’s so much more than just being free from depression or other psychological issues. Most of us are unaware that the absence of mental illness does not reflect our actual emotional health. In fact, mental health illnesses affect 1 in 4 people. As we cope with our lives, the way we think, feel and act determine how we handle stress and make choices. 

Having this topic lingering in my mind for days, I’ve decided to jot down my thoughts and experiences. 

For the past 25 years of my life, I am constantly struggling to pull myself together. As much as we hate to admit, anyone of us is prone to have a breakdown. Humans tend to hide from themselves that something is off and they needed help. A friend with an eating disorder hides it so well until people begin to notice the drastic weight loss or fluctuating weight. While the scars on a friend’s arms or thighs grimly reveal the truth about self-harming. 

Humans are such fragile creatures–don’t you agree? 


I’ve read numerous posts on eating disorders and the words ‘triggering’, ‘voice’, ’fear food’, ‘fat’ and ‘self-harm’ kept popping up. Many individuals who suffered from anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa have problems dealing with their weight and body. From the stories I came across, they live in delusional worlds thinking that being thin will makes them more likeable. Hence, many find the constant need to lose weight, whether it’s through starvation or purging. 

Females who, like myself, have a clear idea on how that happened. I’m pretty sure a large number of us went through all kinds of diets with the ultimate goal of losing weight. I’ve known friends and acquaintances who got admitted to hospital with anorexia or with the habit of purging. Truth be told, I’m guilty of performing such extreme dieting acts as well. I’ve tried purging once. It was unsuccessful and I’m thankful that happened. The aftermath of that hideous act resulted in me feeling ashamed of myself. Thinking back, if that tiny action was to be successful, would it escalate into an on-going condition? I hope not. 

Depression or anxiety affects so many of us to varying degrees and is too often overlooked. Insomnia, stress eating and loss of appetite are some signs that a person may suffer from both anxiety disorder and depression. They spend most of their lives in an agitated state, taking a huge emotional toll. Hearing the struggles my friends went through, I got a clearer picture of this disorder. Most people who suffer from anxiety depression often seek comfort and just want somebody to talk to about it.  

While mental health problems might take a long time to recovery, it important to be patient with ourselves. Bear in mind that backsliding is part of the healing process and with the right treatment, anybody can overcome the challenges. 

I finally found time to finish this. I wrote this back in 2017 with the hopes of raising mental health awareness and eliminating the discrimination around this issue. Mental health stigma is very real, affecting the lives of people with mental health problems as well as those close to them. We battle with our minds every day. Rather than keeping the pain and trauma to ourselves, speak publicly. This encourages people who are suffering in silence to disclose their illness and seek help. 

Be a good listener to a friend in need.